Nine and Half Months!

When Ryder entered the world back on June 6, 2011, he came out red as could be (this picture doesn't do it any justice).  He was as red as a mad hornet, and his attitude has stayed that way for 9 1/2 months.  

I can understand post partum, I can understand shaking baby syndrome, I can understand walking away from your baby.  I get it now.  The past 9 1/2 months have been filled with more challenges with our very strong-willed second child that I hope we never have to go through again.  Ryder was a cranky, cranky baby from the get go.  I tried taking everything out of my diet, to see if it was something that I was giving him when nursing.  We resorted to formula (which quite frankly, I was totally okay with since I'm not a huge fan of nursing...but do love the benefit of WEIGHT LOSS from it!).  We tried different kinds of formula, and finally decided that maybe he was lactose.  Why?!  He just cried all the time!  So I figured it had to be because of his food.  I tried different kinds of bottles.  We did different bloodwork to make sure that all everything was alright.  I tried carrying him, rocking him, singing to him, keeping the house quiet, everything.  Many days, I would place him in his crib (screaming!), close his door, walk to our bedroom, close our door, turn the tv on for Ezra, and curl up in the fetal position and cry myself.  I couldn't understand what we were doing wrong, or what was wrong with him.  FINALLY, after having this look of "I'm losing it" to our family doctor, and handing him another spit up bib, we thought perhaps he had GERD (reflux = heartburn).  So onto a medication he went.  That seemed to help some, but Ryder was still a cranky baby (by the way, this is at about 3 months).  

Another 6 months passed, of a cranky baby that seemed to only be happy in 30 second intervals.  30 seconds of happy and about 3 minutes of crank!  Then 30 seconds of happy with 3 minutes of crank.  It was a continuous circle.  I never liked leaving him with anyone (including his grandparents), because I knew that he would be cranky.  Case in point...when he was a month old, we left him for 24 hours with one of my bestie's: he screamed for her for the full 24 hours.  It was so hard for me to find out that he would not stop crying.  It really got to the point that we just accepted that this is how he was going to be and we prayed fervently, that this to would someday pass.  

It is so hard to truly love a child when they cry all the time.  I would tell Ryder "I will always love you...you are just making it hard to like you right now".  I'm sure that this is some of the reason why it has taken Ezra so long to love Ryder...who wants to love a screaming baby.  Really?!?!??!

A couple of weeks ago, we headed up to Edmonton for 24 hours as a family.  I was super duper CRAZY worried about this trip.  Would Ryder scream the whole time and drive us crazy.  How would we manage in the hotel?  What would the full day in Edmonton be like?  

Crazy enough, the drive to Edmonton was decent.  He slept for some of it and I fed him treats for some of it.  He did really well while we were out for supper at Olive Garden (which I will mention, is a first - the doing well part! - ...dining out for us had gone on hold because who wants to listen to a crying baby in a restaurant...not me!).  That night in the hotel room was horrible, as I had expected.  He was essentially up for the whole night crying.  At 4:00am, Steve came out of the bedroom door, only to find me sitting on the floor by the door with my head in my hands (we stayed in a suite with a separate bedroom).  I didn't know what else to do...so I'd left him in his playpen crying.  Steve took over and I was finally able to get some sleep!  As did Steve, once he got Ryder back settled after another 1/2 hour.  We were exhausted in the morning!  

But you know what....once Ryder woke up that morning....he has been a changed boy since!  He was happy the whole day, slept all the way home, and there hasn't been any turning back since.  It truly was an answer to prayer.  I have had 2 amazing weeks with a beautiful 9 1/2 month old!  Ryder is fun to be with, fun to be around, and fun to LOVE (and like!).  It was a long 9 1/2 months....but today, I love my second child more than anything.  That love is like nothing else!